Anything Everything At Once

Divorce is such an ugly word and an even harder thing to go through. I have been divorced twice and both times were painful. They were emotionally and mentally draining on me. A lot of this paperwork gets confusing. I have a background in legal assistant work, so I was able to make heads or tails of the paperwork in order to self file for the second one.

Reasons to self file:

1. Price. Divorce is expensive!
2. You and Your partner have a full decision on how to divide accounts and mutual assets.
3. No Retainers or expensive hourly fees. Most of the time, you can hire a paralegal for $150 to review your documents to make sure they are court ready. I have heard of divorces costing tens of thousands of dollars and were even quoted a $5,000 retainer fee (that was with a military discount), it’s absurd for those who have no money.

So where do you begin?

First, every court system has different documentation requirements. Make sure you know your state’s requirements on paperwork. For me, I got divorced in Washington State and was able to find the paperwork along with a flowchart on the courts page.

Second, if you and your spouse are on decent terms, discuss assets and division of assets. The less shared property, the more simple the divorce. The more shared property, the more difficult the divorce. If you have a large amount of shared assets such as vehicles or properties together, make sure you discuss them and do what you need to in order to remove respective parties from the properties or vehicles.

Third, start your paperwork. Think about a couple of things:

• Do you want a legal name change? This can be done a lot faster during a divorce than after, and it is usually more cost effective.
• If you have children together, what is the parenting plan? Make sure to be as specific as possible when children are involved.
• Alimony/ Spousal Support. Make sure you meet your state requirements for requesting alimony from your soon to be former spouse. Some states have requirements for years being married (time in service as I jokingly call it) in order for them to demand alimony.
• Child Support. Again, be as specific as possible. This is your children and your children’s well being to consider and most states require a specific amount.

Fourth and Final: File it with your court. Once you file, it takes an average of 6-12 months to be completed. Some states have a cooling down period which is up to 90 days to give both parties the chance to change their minds about the divorce. Once that time period has passed, it will then be put in front of a judge and completed. Make sure you get a copy of the divorce decree, certain agencies may require it to show the award of the properties or assets.

Divorce is never easy. It is one of the hardest things a human being can go through. Take it one day at a time and breathe easier once it is done. I have also included a checklist to help get your life in order post divorce.

Did I miss anything? Drop it in the comments and I will happily reach out with suggestions to simplify it!